After taking a Game of Thrones type beating the past few weeks, I decided to take Thursday off and receive some much need Hyperbaric Oxygen Therapy. No better way to clear the ol’ melon and get rid of all the negative thoughts.
And it worked. Friday started out great. Riggs Diggs Movie and Religious correspondent Jewel, calls with some ridiculously good news. First, it’s now only 33 days till Joe Dirt 2: Beautiful Loser is shown on Crackle. As Joe says, “it done get much gooder then this”. Second, the LeBron James of the adult silver screen, Jenna Jameson, has just announced that she is converting to Judaism. Shabbat Shalom indeed.
Unfortunately, that’s where the good news ended. As the great Chuck Berry sang, “My Ding-a-Ling, My Ding-a-Ling…I want you to play with my Ding-a-Ling”. And play they did…with a 2 by 4. With barbed wire attached. Bet that the Yankees would score first against the Baltimore Orioles. Top of the first and the Yanks load the bases with no outs. That brings up Mark Teixeira, who pops up to short. “Ding”. Next up is Brian McCann, who strikes out. “A”. He is followed by Carlos Beltran, who flies out to right. “Ling”. Baltimore scores in the bottom of the first. “My Ding-a-Ling”.
Bet the Red Sox vs. Toronto. Bottom of the first and Boston sends eleven men up to bat and score 5 times. They score three more runs in the third and are now leading 8-0. Toronto scores 3 in the fifth and plate nine in the seventh inning and go on to win 13-10. “My Ding-a-Ling”.
Bet King Felix at the Houston Astros. Coming into this start, Hernandez had only given up seven runs when pitching on the road. Tonight in the first inning, he was tagged for 5 hits, walked 2 batters and surrendered 8 runs, while recording just one out. Houston wins 10-0. “My Ding-a-Ling…I want you to play with my Ding-a-Ling”. Pass the ice pack, please.